Zelda Characters go to School
by Nancy D
Summary: *OR* Zelda Characters Discover Purell Hand Sanitizer. Hope you like it. Please R/R


A/N:  
Hey Hey Hey! ::Sings: Little Fugue in G Minor (again!):: I'm happy as clams! I found HEMO! (I don't expect you to know who Hemo is, but the person I'm writing this for does!) You should probably all know what Purell hand sanitizer is, and if you don't you're pretty pathetic, no offense. So please read, be happy, and watch the stock market!!!!  
  
Disclaimer:  
Don't own Zelda; it belongs to the all the happy peppy people mentioned on the end credits of OOT.  
  
Here  
  
GOES!!!!!!  
  
  
  
~*~Zelda Characters go to School *or* Zelda Characters Discover Purell Hand Sanitizer!!!~*~  
  
  
  
Zelda was in her room. Bob the Happy Mask Shop Guy, Sandie the Cucco Lady, Daurina, Ruto, Link and Malon were over looking at Zelda's bed, which was decapaged with pictures cut out of "Teaching Magazine."   
  
"Zelda," asked Malon. "What's with all the teacher stuff all over your bed?"  
  
"Uhm..." said Zelda, thinking. "I'm thinking about becoming a teacher."  
  
"Becoming a WHAT?" asked everone.  
  
"A teacher," said Zelda, plainly.  
  
Everyone just stared at her with their mouthes open.  
  
"What, you guys? I want to be a teacher!" said Zelda.  
  
"Zelda!" said Link. "You're frickin princess of Hyrule! And you want to be a TEACHER?"  
  
"Yes," said Zelda. "A teacher."   
  
"Ok, whatever you say..." said everyone.  
  
~*~*~  
  
The next day, Zelda headed to the local public school with Link, Malon, Sandie, Bob, Daurina, and Ruto, to check out the classroom. The first day of school wasn't for another couple of weeks.   
  
"I want to teach 7th grade," said Zelda. The others gave her 'I won't ask' looks. She came to a classroom that said '7B: Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski.' Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski came out of her classroom with a smile.  
  
"Hello, you must be Ms. Hyliana," she said. "I'm Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski. I teach math. This is Mrs. Psychot, who teaches Lit, and Mr. Gaybur who teaches Social Studies," she said, pointing to a ruffled looking blond with pink lipstick and a middle aged male with a beard. Zelda smiled, and the others continued giving their 'I won't ask...EVER!' looks.   
  
Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski gave her friendly smile at Zelda's friends and said, "And who might all of you be?"  
  
"Link."  
  
"Malon."  
  
"Bob."  
  
"Ruto."  
  
"Daurina."  
  
"Sandie."  
  
They all said, "Hi."  
  
"Wow!" laughed Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski. "You all seem...enthused."   
  
Zelda nudged Link. "Be nice!" she said in a harsh whisper. Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski didn't care though. She led the clan into a room marked '7A'. "Here Zelda, may I call you Zelda?"  
  
"Sure," said Zelda. "That would be fine."  
  
"Great, you can call me Suzzie. Anyways, Zelda, this will be your classroom. You teach science."  
  
"Oh yeah! I love science!" said Ruto.  
  
"Great," said Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski, who looked kind of afraid of Ruto.  
  
"Don't be afraid of Ruto," said Daurina. "She's perfectly harmless!"  
  
"Oh my," said Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski, who looked even more afraid of Daurina. "Well ANYWAYS!!" she said with a smile, "here's your classroom, and you can start preparing for school!"  
  
"Thanks," said Zelda, and the crew entered 7A. It was big and bright with rows of desks and a dry-erase board in the front. There was an overhead projector -  
  
"Overhead projector?" asked Bob.   
  
"Yes, overhead projector," said Nancy. "Now, can I please get on with my story?"  
  
"Sure, as long as you make me go and see the overhead," said Bob. "I LOVE overheads!"  
  
"Ok, whatever," said Nancy, and she continued with her story.  
  
There was an overhead projector, a podium, desk for the teacher, computers, and in the back of the room was a whole science lab, complete with a lab table, sink, and many many specimens.   
  
Just then, Bob saw the overhead and ran over too it. "Look Zeldie!" he said. "It's an overhead! Can I be a guest in your classroom one day and teach a demonstration on the overhead? Can I?" he asked.  
  
"Sure," said Zelda. The rest of the crew was in the lab section, examining the different specimans.  
  
"Look at my scales under this microscope!" said Ruto. Everyone rushed over to look, except Bob who was still playing with the overhead, and Sandie, who went over to open up another box.  
  
She opened the box, and out flew...  
  
Cuccos! They flew right onto Sandie. "Help HELP!" she screamed. Everyone rushed over to her. "Help! I'm allergic to Cuccos, and I break out in shingles every time they touch my skin!"  
  
"I'll get them!" said Malon. She ran over to Sandie and began picking the Cuccos off of her one by one and put them back in the cage.  
  
"Here, use this," said Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski. She took Sandie over to a little despenser hanging from the wall that said "Purell."  
  
"Wow! What the heck it this?" asked Sandie.   
  
"This is hand sanitizer," said Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski.   
  
"Hand what?" asked Zelda.  
  
"Hand SANITIZER!" said Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski. "You put it on your hands, and it protects you against bacteria."  
  
"Sweet! Let me try it!" said Daurina.  
  
"Me first," said Zelda. "It's my classroom!"  
  
"No, me!" said Ruto.  
  
"What about us?" asked Link and Malon.  
  
"Oldest should go first," said Daurina. "I'm oldest."  
  
"WAIT!!!" screamed Sandy. "I'm the whole reason we discovered the sanitizer to BEGIN with! I should go first!"  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski? What should we do?" everyone chorused, simultaniously. But In the confusion, Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski had left. Mrs. Psychot stood in her place.   
  
"You can ALL go first!" screamed Mrs. Psychot.   
  
"You don't...mind?" asked Zelda, quitely.  
  
"The hell I do!" said Mrs. Psychot.  
  
So everyone dived on the dispenser. Everone except Bob, that is, who was still having fun with the overhead.  
  
"Wow!" said Ruto. "You put your hand under it like this,"  
  
"And SQUEEZE!" finished Sandie.  
  
"And it comes out," said Malon,  
  
"in a little glop," said Link,  
  
"in your hand," said Zelda,  
  
"and you rub 'em together," said Daurina,  
  
"and rub 'em on the overhead," said Bob.  
  
Everyone looked at Bob.   
  
"Watch!" said Bob. He turned on the overhead and put some Purell on it.   
  
"Ooh," said everyone. "Aah."  
  
"That's not all of it!" said Bob. He prodded the sanitizer with a pencil, and it moved around.  
  
"Wow!" said everyone.  
  
"That's cool!" said Daurina. "Let ME try that!" He got up and went over to the overhead. Soon, everyone was crowding around it, wanting to get a turn. Suddenly...  
  
"Hey! Look at me!" said Malon.   
  
Everyone looked.  
  
"Watch what I can do!" Malon got some sanitizer in her hand and tossed it up in the air, and caught it again in the same hand.  
  
"Awesome!" said everyone, and they all ran over to the dispenser to try that. Except Bob, who was glad everyone finally left him and his overhead alone.  
  
They all tried, some with success, and some without. Ruto got some sanitizer in her hand and threw it really high in the air...and it dropped to the ground.  
  
"Hey! Fish-girl!" came a man's voice.  
  
"It's Ruto," Ruto said to the man. It was Mr. Gaybur. Mrs. Psychot had left.  
  
"You know what damage this stuff can do to things? Look out here in the hall."  
  
Ruto, and everyone else, looked in the hall. There was somthing white stained all across the floor outside of Mr. Gaybur's classroom.  
  
"See that?" asked Mr. Gaybur. "That was caused by Purell. Please don't let it touch the floor ever again!" he said. "Now Zelda," he said to Zelda. "I believe you have some lesson-planning to do."  
  
"Yes, I do," said Zelda. She went over to her desk and pulled out some paperwork. Everything was quiet. As soon as Mr. Gaybur left, everyone jumped up and ran back over to the Purell dispenser.   
  
"I get it!" yelled Sandie.  
  
"No I do!" said Zelda.  
  
Ruto, Link, and Daurina all piled on top of him.   
  
"Her we come!" yelled Link and Bob. Together, they took a running leap for the hand sanitizer box and...  
  
CRACK!  
  
"Oh no!" cried everyone. The Purell dispenser had fallen to the floor.  
  
"Here," said Daurina. "I can fix it."  
  
Malon got an allen wrench out of the teacher's desk and brought it over to Daurina.  
  
"An allen wrench?" asked Daurina. "What the crap am I supposed to do with this?"  
  
"I don't know," said Malon. "I just wanted to help."  
  
"Well, don't help!" said Daurina. Five minutes later, Daurina had the Purell box up and running again, and there came a knock on the door.  
  
Zelda opened the door. "Hello," she said. Standing at the door was a girl, about the age of 12. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Marge," she said. "Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski's my mom. And I have the same birthday as Justin Timberlake."  
  
"Ooh!" Malon, Zelda, Ruto, and Sandy looked at Marge in astonishment.  
  
"I came in here cause there was lots of noise," Marge said. "But you all seem to be fine. I'll leave now." Before Marge left, she reached her hand up to the Purell dispenser, and...NOTHING CAME OUT!! "You used up all the hand sanitizer!" said Marge, accusingly. "I'm telling Mom!" With that, she ran out of the room and back to her mother's classroom.  
  
"Oh no," said Link. "We're going to be in deep sh-"  
  
He was cut off by Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski, who stormed into the classroom. "You used up all the hand sanitizer?" yelled Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski. "You know," she started, "that stuff's all alcohol. You can burn your hands, and your skin can come off. It's very bad for your hands, and - wha!" she said as she saw Bob, with the blue overhead marker all over his hands. "You should never use overhead marker with hand sanitizer. They're both filled with chemicals, and a chemical reaction can occur, and -"  
  
"Suzzie?" asked Zelda.   
  
"Yes?" answered Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski.  
  
"I think YOU should teach science."   
  
"Yeah," said Bob, "and I can teach math! That's what I've been doing the whole time. I've always wanted to teach math on an overhead projector!"  
  
"That would be great!" said Mrs. Skhsudkahdlandlsoawyski. "I'd LOVE to teach science!"  
  
"Yeah," said Zelda. "You would make a much better science teacher than me, and Bob really wants to teach math. I guess I'll just stay home and be princess of Hyrule like I should."  
  
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVERY AFTER....THE END!!!  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N:  
Ok, that was just entirely random, think so? Well, please R/R. I LOVE reviews! Kates, this was for you, so YOU BETTER REVIEW!! You too, Dani, I put Justin in just for you!! Have a good day everybody! ::Sings: The incredible, edible, egg! I love eggs!::  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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